Tuesday, September 29, 2009

September 29 6:30 PM

Hi friends,
Sorry I've kept everyone waiting all day.  I was in an ill humor this morning and then had guests today so I'm just now getting to this.  I must admit to you, that this morning I told God, "God, I'm tired of blessing everyone with this blog, I just want my boy back!"  That was horrible I know, just trying to be honest.  I got over my pity party though and was able to bring my focus back where it was supposed to be to begin with.  One thing I have noticed when I'm trying to deal with Micah is that I always want to fix what is hurting, and when I can't I get frustrated and then just want to find something to distract me from his pain.  Did that make any sense?  If I can't fix it then I want to pretend that it is not there, sad, but true.  Funny thing is, when I pretend it's not there, it doesn't go away!  So today I was trying to pretend it wasn't there and God said, "why don't you focus on me instead.  It may appear that your son is in pain, but in reality he's with me, so why don't you spend that time with me also?"  Ouch!  So guess what I did?  I got still and listened and what I heard was 
Ps. 52:8-9
"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;  I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.  I will praise You because You have done it; And in the presence of Your saints I will wait on our name, for it is good."
I don't know if this is a blog repeat, a repeat for me or if it is something that someone else gave me, but it is not the first time this week that I had this verse.  So I'm wondering what it means to be like a green olive tree in the house of God?  I'll tell you what I have learned thus far and if you have any insights into this then please share.  Olive trees will grow where other trees cannot, hard rocky soil for example.  There is not a part of them that is not put to use, wood for furniture, leaves are medicinal, fruit for food and oil.  The olive straight from the tree is inedible unless something is done to change or transform it.  For example, if it is crushed we can get the oil from it and we all know how good olive oil is for many different things.  Or it could be soaked in a brine to make it edible.  Either way it has to go through some sort of transformation to be usable.  What I'm getting from this is that we must be cut down, pruned, crushed plucked, etc...in order for God to be able to use us.  None of that sounds like anything I want to have done to me, it all sounds painful. But if the ax or pruning shears (whatever) are in the hands of the Master then we know that whatever pain may come is going to be used to bring more life than was there before. So therefore we must trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.  If He is doing it then it has to be good no matter what it looks or feels like to us.  So though it is hard and we cry (a lot) we wait on You Lord, for You are good.

As for Micah he has had a good day pretty peaceful today.  Almost got a smile, but not quite.  He did try to do some gymnastics in his bed while I was out of the room and I think that the nurse was a little worried that I was going to bite her head off when I found out.  She looked a little sheepish and conveniently disappeared while someone else told me about his tricks.  I was nice and he is tough so all is good.  
By the way thanks so much to whoever it was that mowed the grass for us, may the goo Lord bless you!
Love you all,


  1. Tina, as a mother myself I can only imagine what going through this is like. I do know that any good parent wants their kids to lead happy painfree lives. But I truly believe that all Micah is going through will bless thousands one day. Doesn't make it any easier to bear I'm sure. There is a song that's been on my heart for you:
    Verse 1:
    This is my prayer in the desert
    And all that's within me feels dry
    This is my prayer in the hunger in me
    My God is a God who provides

    Verse 2:
    And this is my prayer in the fire
    In weakness or trial or pain
    There is a faith proved
    Of more worth than gold
    So refine me Lord through the flames

    And I will bring praise
    I will bring praise
    No weapon forged against me shall remain

    I will rejoice
    I will declare
    God is my victory and He is here

    Verse 3:
    And this is my prayer in the battle
    And triumph is still on it's way
    I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
    So firm on His promise I'll stand

    All of my life
    In every season
    You are still God
    I have a reason to sing
    I have a reason to worship

    Verse 4:
    This is my prayer in the harvest
    When favor and providence flow
    I know I'm filled to be empited again
    The seed I've recieved I will sow

    You're not alone. When you feel angry or weak I will lift you up in my prayers. Please kiss Micah's forehead for me, I've grown to love him so much through my prayers for him. Your friend and sister in Christ, Tina Flowers

  2. Tina, I love you!You can do this.

  3. Tina, I wanted to share this last week, but didn't. since you mentioned about being pruned & it's not easy etc. i keep feeling God saying, "I'm growing your faith one step higher." This is a totally new level He is taking you & it's not easy.We don't know His ways & can't understand it, but eventually we will. But I believe God can touch Micah & can heal Him. I know you may have heard this many times by now, but keep your faith.Hang on to Him.Thanks for sharing your insights even at this time.We've been praying for all the children in our family, more now than ever,that what HE has begun in their lives HE will complete. love Shanti

  4. Tina, we still have your family in our prays.
    Your neighbors, Larry and Judy Pratt

  5. dear thomas and tina, annie told me about micah. We all are keeping micah in our prayers. Have been reading your blog. wanted to share this message that I came across today:

    Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise,
    risking more than otheres think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible.

    And surely our faith is a journey to excellence. So do dream more, expect more, for surely all things are possible in Him.
    with love and prayers to you both and your family,
    Renny Mathai, Delhi.

  6. Dear Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for Tina, Thomas and Micah and You keep on blessing them.
    Please keep them safe from all danger and harm. Help Tina, Thomas and Micah to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let them make the best of each day to clear their mind so that they can hear from You.
    Let them not whine and whimper over things they have no control over.
    And when this world closes in on them, let them remember Jesus' example -- to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when they are pushed beyond their limits.They know that when they can't pray, You listen to their heart. Continue to use them to do Your will.
    Continue to bless Tina, Thomas and Micah that they may be a blessing to others. Keep them strong that they may help the weak. Keep them uplifted that they may have words of encouragement for others. I thank you that they believe.

    I believe that God changes people and God changes things. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For every family member in their households. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.

    I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than God. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth that confesses them willingly..

    This is my prayer.
    In Jesus' Name,

    Tina and Thomas, I send all my prayers and love to you. God bless you with a peaceful comfortable and loving day. He will give Micah some peace today is my prayer. LOVE YOU, Sharon Sargent Pettit

  7. Thank you for sharing this awesome perspective of faith, even through pain. Please know that our church(Maryville PCA), church family with Bryan and Angela Roberson, is lifting up your family in prayer and love.

  8. Tina & Thomas, I am part of an email prayer group and have been praying for Micah and your family. We will continue to lift you all up to our father.
    Micah 7:8 (KJV)
    Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me.
    Love & Blessings,

  9. Thomas and Tina... I am praying for you but I dont have anything to share with you as valuable as what you are sharing with all of us. I have several email devotionals that come to me but none of them compare to what I am learning from your faith and trials. Thank you for being so honest about your good times and even the bad. That's a realness I can learn from. I read your blog and I am encouraged to believe deeper and wider and higher for the things of God. You are encouraging many and while it may seem a heavy task-- your witness is accomplishing much. Thank you both for being passionate people of God even in times like this. I am blessed to call you my friends. May God's grace and mercy be poured out on you exceedingly, abundantly more than you could hope or ask. Lisa Clements

  10. i have been reading your blog and cannot pretend to know how yall must feel, just know that God is in control. you are in our prayers God Bless you and your family