September 29 6:30 PM

Hi friends,
Sorry I've kept everyone waiting all day.  I was in an ill humor this morning and then had guests today so I'm just now getting to this.  I must admit to you, that this morning I told God, "God, I'm tired of blessing everyone with this blog, I just want my boy back!"  That was horrible I know, just trying to be honest.  I got over my pity party though and was able to bring my focus back where it was supposed to be to begin with.  One thing I have noticed when I'm trying to deal with Micah is that I always want to fix what is hurting, and when I can't I get frustrated and then just want to find something to distract me from his pain.  Did that make any sense?  If I can't fix it then I want to pretend that it is not there, sad, but true.  Funny thing is, when I pretend it's not there, it doesn't go away!  So today I was trying to pretend it wasn't there and God said, "why don't you focus on me instead.  It may appear that your son is in pain, but in reality he's with me, so why don't you spend that time with me also?"  Ouch!  So guess what I did?  I got still and listened and what I heard was 
Ps. 52:8-9
"But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;  I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.  I will praise You because You have done it; And in the presence of Your saints I will wait on our name, for it is good."
I don't know if this is a blog repeat, a repeat for me or if it is something that someone else gave me, but it is not the first time this week that I had this verse.  So I'm wondering what it means to be like a green olive tree in the house of God?  I'll tell you what I have learned thus far and if you have any insights into this then please share.  Olive trees will grow where other trees cannot, hard rocky soil for example.  There is not a part of them that is not put to use, wood for furniture, leaves are medicinal, fruit for food and oil.  The olive straight from the tree is inedible unless something is done to change or transform it.  For example, if it is crushed we can get the oil from it and we all know how good olive oil is for many different things.  Or it could be soaked in a brine to make it edible.  Either way it has to go through some sort of transformation to be usable.  What I'm getting from this is that we must be cut down, pruned, crushed plucked, etc...in order for God to be able to use us.  None of that sounds like anything I want to have done to me, it all sounds painful. But if the ax or pruning shears (whatever) are in the hands of the Master then we know that whatever pain may come is going to be used to bring more life than was there before. So therefore we must trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.  If He is doing it then it has to be good no matter what it looks or feels like to us.  So though it is hard and we cry (a lot) we wait on You Lord, for You are good.


As for Micah he has had a good day pretty peaceful today.  Almost got a smile, but not quite.  He did try to do some gymnastics in his bed while I was out of the room and I think that the nurse was a little worried that I was going to bite her head off when I found out.  She looked a little sheepish and conveniently disappeared while someone else told me about his tricks.  I was nice and he is tough so all is good.  
By the way thanks so much to whoever it was that mowed the grass for us, may the goo Lord bless you!
Love you all,
Tina