December 3, 2009 10:30 PM

Hello friends,
Well, I was going to say that the last two days have not been the greatest for Micah, but when I get away from him and think about the days I see them differently.  I'm always telling Micah that until he can talk we have to find a way to communicate with each other.  And I believe that the last two days he has been trying his hardest to make me understand him.  I also believe that all of the "unresponsiveness" that I think I have seen is due to him trying so hard.  He has used his arm to push or hold to get my attention, he has started using the thumb of the left hand to grab small things, his face brightened every time I got a phone call because he wanted to listen too, he tried his hardest to make noise on the phone, he lets me know when he uncomfortable and when he wants in bed and he is always more relaxed when he can go outside.  Those outside days are getting less and shorter, it's cold outside!  So, when I look at these things I would have to say that the days have not been as bad as I originally thought.  
Tomorrow morning is the trial, 7 a.m.  Not sure how I feel about the whole thing.  I want to have high hopes, but I also don't put much hope in the medical system.  I know that I want Micah healed & continue to believe that he will be, I'm just wish I could see the whole picture.  Why are we in St. Louis, why has God chosen this time, place, home, etc...?  I have a lot of questions and  not a lot of answers right now.  
I was crying on the way home about the surgery and how I don't want to do this and telling God how much easier it would be if He would heal him or at least let us not do the surgery (funny how we're always telling God the best way to do things isn't it?).  He said, "I know child, my son has scars too".   I'd like to say I didn't say anything else to that, but I can't.   It's good to know though that God can handle my drama, He can handle yours too.  Don't even try to tell me you don't have any!!
I'll try to let you know how the trial goes ASAP after it is done.  
Blessings dear ones,
Tina